changeset 271:bec8968580d8

<nortti> pastefortunes
author HackBot
date Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:37:30 +0000
parents f5c767fe9ec3
children 1640c67f1463
files paste/paste.12790
diffstat 1 files changed, 80 insertions(+), 0 deletions(-) [+]
line wrap: on
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--- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
+++ b/paste/paste.12790	Fri Apr 20 16:37:30 2012 +0000
@@ -0,0 +1,80 @@
+Lobster:
+	Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are
+squeamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only
+proper method of preparing them.  Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your
+guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're cooked.
+The fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea
+floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs.  Grasp the lobster
+behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty eyestalks and say,
+"Where were you on the night of the 21st?", then flourish a picture of a
+scallop or a sole and shout, "Perhaps this will refresh that crude neural
+apparatus you call a memory!"  The lobster will squirm noticeably.  It may
+even take a swipe at you with one of its claws.  Incorrigible.  Pop it into
+the pot.  Justice has been served, and shortly you and your friends will
+be, too.
+		-- Dave Barry, "Cooking: The Art of Using Appliances and
+		   Utensils into Excuses and Apologies"
+-----
+ O       \/
+#|_     (_|
+###\.___| |		unk (couch potato)
+-----
+Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!
+-----
+A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by
+blowing first.
+-----
+                        ..uu.
+                       ?$""`?i           z'
+                       `M  .@"          x"
+                       'Z :#"  .   .    f 8M
+                       '&H?`  :$f U8   <  MP   x#'
+                       d#`    XM  $5.  $  M' xM"
+                     .!">     @  'f`$L:M  R.@!`
+                    +`  >     R  X  "NXF  R"*L
+                        k    'f  M   "$$ :E  5.
+                        %    `~  "    `  'K  'M
+                            .uH          'E   `h
+                         .x*`             X     `
+                      .uf`                *
+                    .@8     .
+                   'E9F  uf"          ,     ,
+                     9h+"   $M    eH. 8b. .8    .....
+                    .8`     $'   M 'E  `R;'   d?"""`"#
+                   ` E      @    b  d   9R    ?*     @
+                     >      K.zM `%M'   9'    Xf   .f
+                    ;       R'          9     M  .=`
+                    t                   M     Mx~
+                    @                  lR    z"
+                    @                  `   ;" 
+-----
+            ''..                     )
+  '''.        .'                (   (         (
+   .'         '.       )   (    )    )  (      )
+    ''..        '.    (     )  (    (    )    (
+        }#{     (\*/)  )   (    )    )  (      )
+         "        "   (     )  (         )    (
+                       )        )   ___.--.    )
+              )   )        .''.  .''...' ..'''..  \\\\
+             (   (    _.-~~~-.'''.''   ''-.     ;  `**
+              )  )   ;****......._____.......****;  `*.
+             (      .*   `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'   *   `*.
+              )    ';`*.  A steaming bowl of   .*'    `*.
+                ..''; `**.   pasty turds.    .**'      `*.
+            ..'''..  '. `***.             .***'         `*
+___________`.......'..'____`**lester**amc**'______________
+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
+-----
+Lazy people never bother to actually read the manual. Instead they (like
+kids) pick something with big, colorful buttons.
+
+                -- Eugene Tyurin <gene@insti.physics.sunysb.edu>
+-----
+* The_Answer_MD throws spaghetti at everyone
+* taniwha eats the spaghetti
+* Coderjoe tosses around some meatballs
+* Knghtbrd gets the cheese
+* taniwha grabs a red
+-----
+  It's more than magnificent-it's mediocre. -Samuel Goldwyn
+-----