108) * Phantom_Hoover wonders where the size of the compiled Linux kernel comes from.  <cpressey> To comply with the GFDL, there's a copy of Wikipedia in there.
112) <CakeProphet> how does a "DNA computer" work.  <CakeProphet> von neumann machines?  <Phantom_Hoover> CakeProphet, that's boring in the context of DNA.  <Phantom_Hoover> It's just stealing the universe's work and passing it off as our own.
122) <Phantom_Hoover> OK, so is conspiring to conspire to commit a crime a crime?  <cpressey> Let's all get together and talk about defacing public property sometime
124) <AnMaster> cpressey, oh go to zzo's website. He is NIH  <Phantom_Hoover> AnMaster, really? I was strongly under the impression that zzo was invented here.
134) <alise> Phantom_Hoover: Don't be nasty; he's a lunatic, not a murderer.
141) <Phantom_Hoover> It's only been 2 months since anyone last made a commit!  <alise> WRONG 8 WEEKS
143) <Vorpal> ais523, what is "MS Publisher"?  <Phantom_Hoover> Vorpal, you don't want to know.  <ais523> Vorpal: be glad that you don't know the answer  <alise> Vorpal: "horrible"
170) <Phantom_Hoover> For instance, Jesus' Y chromosome was clearly GOD'S.
171) <Phantom_Hoover> OK, let's reduce the human genome to 4 chromosomes, in 2 homologous pairs.
209) <Phantom_Hoover> [...] reyouthismootherate [...]
213) <Phantom_Hoover> This is good if you are a wheat plant but bad if you like eating wheat seeds.
234) <fizzie> Phantom_Hoover: I have just one tvtropes page open in elinks, but my tvtropes.txt "queue" has 38 tvtropes.org URLs waiting for processing.
249) <fungot> Phantom_Hoover: if the list is in random order, like poor ehird here
250) <Phantom_Hoover> elliott, incidentally, I started my explorations again after getting bored of the Himalayas.
253) <fungot> Phantom_Hoover: mutation is often considerably harder for both humans and compilers can analyze it much more difficult' part that induces bloody vomit... huh....intriguing
264) <Phantom_Hoover> ZOMGMODULES, St. Christopher, saint and werewolf.
281) <Phantom_Hoover> DON'T MOCK ME WITH YOUR ABILITY TO DIVIDE BY TEN
282) <Phantom_Hoover> Oh, Hitler! You and your wacky antics!
302) <Phantom_Hoover> Scotland turns from red and yellow to A DIFFERENT SHADE OF YELLOW
304) [on Sgeo's karaoke] <Phantom_Hoover> That is the thing that made me into a gay vampire.
305) <Phantom_Hoover> Yeah, I went through a whole series of existential crises when I was 8 or so.
328) <Phantom_Hoover> The system I kind of have in mind makes a flying train a natural consequence.
331) <Sgeo> Hmm. I guess it's nearby GRBs that would be problematic?  <Phantom_Hoover> Sgeo, if by 'problematic' you mean 'what's that in the AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH'.
342) <Phantom_Hoover> The eigenratio of reality has to be enormous, though.
346) [on petrol] <ais523> oklofok: it's actually poisonous, so I advise against drinking it  <Phantom_Hoover> ais523, also contains benzene, my carcinogen of choice.
353) * perlmonkey is pursuing the line of reasoning that eating raw foods can improve cognitive function  <Phantom_Hoover> perlmonkey, well, it certainly makes you think about what you'd rather be eating.
357) <Phantom_Hoover> The wickedest man of all.  <Phantom_Hoover> Surpassed only in wickedness by the wicked witches of the west and east.  <copumpkin> you talking about me again?  <Phantom_Hoover> Yes.  <copumpkin> k
369) <Phantom_Hoover> I go to clean up the shrapnel from a teabag and you're discussing the definition of god out of nowhere.
372) <Phantom_Hoover> oerjan, little do you realise that everything you say and do is part of that great monad tutorial we call life.
373) <ais523> Phantom_Hoover: nope, I removed . from the current directory
375) <Phantom_Hoover> pikhq, living in the future sucks.  <Phantom_Hoover> The past just keeps coming up to us and trying to make us feel guilty.
377) <oklopol> such a famous bisexual  <Phantom_Hoover> Yeah, like Marlon Brando.  <Phantom_Hoover> And Caligula.  <Phantom_Hoover> And... Keeley Hawes?  <Phantom_Hoover> I feel cheated by Ashes to Ashes now.
392) <augur> ive been in #haskell and #agda primarily, recently  <Phantom_Hoover> So is #agda now full of dependently-typed gay sex?
430) <Phantom_Hoover> Sgeo_, the origin of suffering is desire for e-book readers.
442) <fungot> Phantom_Hoover: it is a hate so pure and... pumpkin seeds?
443) <Phantom_Hoover> Oh look, Dax has brought TWO glowy science sticks.  <Phantom_Hoover> SHIT JUST GOT REAL
444) <Phantom_Hoover> OK, Taneb's been taken by a mood and he needs raw emeralds.  <Phantom_Hoover> It's been fun knowing him.
445) <Phantom_Hoover> Taneb's been hit by melancholy.  <Phantom_Hoover> He didn't have any friends, fortunatel.y
446) <Phantom_Hoover> You realise the micromanagement it took to make quintopia encrust my silver throne with emeralds rather than a jug?
452) <Phantom_Hoover> Riots in Glasgow would probably be reported as a sudden drop in crime.
454) <Phantom_Hoover> What is it with Cardassians, they're all really nice and then they hit you with a rock.
465) <Phantom_Hoover> I gave her the Noblesse Oblige rooms.  <Phantom_Hoover> She was happy with them even when they were behind 2 locked doors and a floodgate and full of water.
466) <Phantom_Hoover> On further reflection, I think I did manage to miss winter and spring altogether.  <Phantom_Hoover> This does explain the goblin siege I had in autumn.
467) <Phantom_Hoover> A possessed soapmaker: the most ridiculous thing?  <Phantom_Hoover> OH YES YOU JUST HAD TO CLAIM THE WORKSHOP I SET ASIDE FOR STRAND EXTRACTION YOU BASTARD  <Phantom_Hoover> I SWEAR IF ANY OF THAT ADAMANTINE GOES MISSING YOU'RE GETTING SOME HIGH-QUALITY ROOMS
473) <Phantom_Hoover> I didn't realise nickel apparently can't be shaped into a screw because of some fundamental feature of dwarven physics.
489) <Phantom_Hoover> I keep asking random people for "friendship <thing>" and it's crippling
494) <Phantom_Hoover> FFS, building a perpetual motion machine should not be this hard.
495) <Phantom_Hoover> Intake flooded with magma.  <Phantom_Hoover> Reactor connected.  <Phantom_Hoover> Pumps active.  <Phantom_Hoover> YES IT'S WORKING
498) <Phantom_Hoover> The fact that the elves will be happy with this will hopefully be counteracted by the fact that I plan to drop them into the magma cistern.
499) <Phantom_Hoover> I'm sacrificing the animals, then I'm going to bed.
500) <Phantom_Hoover> Yeah, Bashir, just sit there drinking, rather than diagnosing the carpenter mauled in that tragic bonobo accident.
506) <Phantom_Hoover> You mean it'd be Tau Zero but without the spaceship?
507) <Phantom_Hoover> OK, making myself emergency doctor on the advice of IRC.
514) <Phantom_Hoover> It is like the Holocaust but with Nazis.
517) <Phantom_Hoover> We have no leather.  <Phantom_Hoover> Time to use that most venerable of resources, the puppy.
519) <Gregor> Phantom_Hoover: Sort of a monadic human centipede.
533) <Taneb> Mayor says we need to make aluminum items  <Phantom_Hoover> Taneb, PH says you need to make lava items.
534) <elliott> Dear god stop staring at me.  <monqy> no never  <Phantom_Hoover> monqy is always staring at everyone.  <monqy> it takes many eyes to do this but I manage  <Phantom_Hoover> He is an inspiration to us all.
543) <Phantom_Hoover> I mean, any organisation called the Scottish Defence League should be beating up English people, what other point would there be?
545) <Phantom_Hoover> OMG  <Phantom_Hoover> What if  <Phantom_Hoover> we shoot Hitler with neutrinos
546) <Phantom_Hoover> It's like Pygmalion and Galatea but more weeaboo.  <Phantom_Hoover> Also lesbian.
553) <Phantom_Hoover> Guys no don't fly a Jem Hadar ship into Cardassian space to shoot things I played that mission in FreeSpace and it never works.
576) <Phantom_Hoover> oh god oh god  <Phantom_Hoover> what if I become  <Phantom_Hoover> attracted  <Phantom_Hoover> to birds
577) <Ngevd> "Facekicker" Hird is a member of the Hird family  <Phantom_Hoover> Ngevd, world-renowned detective.
580) <Phantom_Hoover> You know what annoys me about Deep Space 9.  <Phantom_Hoover> It wasn't in deep space.  <Phantom_Hoover> It was orbiting Bajor.
582) <Phantom_Hoover> I think the worst part of growing up is that it isn't retroactive.
583) <Phantom_Hoover> http://i.imgur.com/dosYw.png  <Phantom_Hoover> WELCOME TO FUCKING STEELROMANCED
593) <Phantom_Hoover> I'd insult you behind your back, but I don't care which side of your back I insult you on.
598) <Phantom_Hoover> Life expectancy now is a function of whether you go berserk or not.
607) <Phantom_Hoover> No you can't fight crime in Glasgow.  <Phantom_Hoover> It's like trying to get rid of the space-time continuum.
624) <Phantom_Hoover> The reason the cute animals collection includes pictures of intestines is that cute animals have to have intestines.
633) <Ngevd> This is not the time for science!  <Phantom_Hoover> ALL TIMES ARE TIME FOR SCIENCE
641) <Phantom_Hoover> Dinner? At two?  <fizzie> It's four here already. See, UTC+2. You need to add a couple of hours. Or was that subtract? I can never get those straight.
651) <Phantom_Hoover> The only way you could do better would be to implement Monopoly with chocolate.
652) <Phantom_Hoover> Just because you can't design a reliable Monopoly machine out of chocolate doesn't mean nobody else can.
653) <Phantom_Hoover> Here in Scotland we have a rigorous and well-tested theory of brothels.
659) <Phantom_Hoover> (I vehemently oppose the SNP because they want closer ties with Sweden.)
664) <Phantom_Hoover> Incest, the enemy of graph theorists everywhere.
676) <Phantom_Hoover> I had a dream last night where I got hit by a van but the van had a brain uploader in it and I was uploaded and I angsted because I was stuck spending eternity with singularitarians?
678) <Phantom_Hoover> "Category 4 ("professional") fireworks are for sale only to fireworks professionals. They have no restrictions,"  <Phantom_Hoover> OK I need to become a pyrotechnician.  <ais523> Phantom_Hoover: that's like wanting to become a locksmith  <ais523> so that you can legally own lockpicks  <Phantom_Hoover> Did I mention when I wanted to become a locksmith?
684) <Phantom_Hoover> There.... is a box of Gardasil next to the butter in my fridge.  <Phantom_Hoover> At least my sandwich will be immune to cervical cancer *and* genital warts, I suppose.
687) * Phantom_Hoover moves 0.5 Phantom_Hoover into the Atlantic, and captures fizzie's upper body with 0.5 Phantom_Hoover.  <fizzie> Glurk.
698) <Phantom_Hoover> BF derivatives are a cancer running throughout the fringes of the esolang community, and as the fringes vastly outweigh the core, we're screwed.
712) <fungot> Phantom_Hoover: gsi-ffs.scm just has a tendency to give procedures meaningful, spelled out, names, unlike " fnord)"
755) <pikhq> The world would be a much classier place if the world was full of Gregors.  <Phantom_Hoover> True, but how many of them are on fire?
756) <Phantom_Hoover> i once had a dream when i was told to look after some kittens but they were made of chocolate and i ate them :(
771) <Taneb> Phantom_Hoover, like Glasgow but nicer  <Taneb> So, not like Glasgow at all
813) <Phantom_Hoover> unfortunately df is not yet able to simulate norway
816) <Phantom_Hoover> I think the only lesson I can really take away from this experience is "don't fuck around with vampires".
857) <Phantom_Hoover> it's weird hanging around people for whom the northernmost point in the world is nottingham
876) <elliott> Phantom_Hoover: I like how the Victorians hadn't quite figured out you were meant to name books something shorter than their contents.
915) <Phantom_Hoover> why the fuc  <oerjan> i was very annoyed.  <Phantom_Hoover> k  <Phantom_Hoover> are my socks  <Phantom_Hoover> in the wastebin
931) <shachaf> oerjan: What's cosubtyping?  <Phantom_Hoover> some sort of fusion of cosplay and type theory?
945) <ais523> did you know that likes follow you around the internet and steal your browser?  <Taneb> I thought that was Phantom_Hoover
955) <ais523> Phantom_Hoover: my department teaches prolog, to second years I think  <ais523> some people choose it because it isn't ocaml, and then are disappointed to find it has lists
956) * ais523 challenges the americans here to remember who lost in the most recent UK general election  <Phantom_Hoover> ais523, the lib dems
958) <Phantom_Hoover> Sgeo_, are you just trying to post kmcbait...  * Fiora imagines a cardboard box propped up by a stick with a pile of monads inside.  <elliott> Fiora: that is actually what Haskell is.
961) <Phantom_Hoover> As Brainfuck derivatives go, it's not all that bad, really.
970) <Phantom_Hoover> i don't think hitler made any bf derivatives
971) <Phantom_Hoover> http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/large-asbestoscontaminated-tarantula-on-the-loose-in-cardiff-8544532.html  <Phantom_Hoover> finally, a solution to the problem of wales
1019) <Bike> ◊_______________________◊  <elliott> help.  <Phantom_Hoover> jesus christ elliott  <Phantom_Hoover> apply pressure evenly when jamming eyes open
1026) <Phantom_Hoover> you'd almost think somalian domain-name management is a bit sloppy