<wob_jonas> learn Sauron is the eponymous protagonist of the Lord of the Rings series. He serves primarily as narrator and the main driver of the plot. His heroic exploits include the resurrection of the Kings of Men and the conquest of the racists of Gondor. He now leads the Illuminati from his pyramid fort /\xea\x99\xa9\\ .

$target has been badly maimed!
*draws their sword*
I'll get the bears
Now where did I leave my jumper cables...
*grumbles something about a broken hacksaw*
$target just lost an arm!
$target just lost a leg!
$target just got fried by jumpercables!
$target just froze off their fingers!
$target just melted off their fingers!