I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
		-- Chico Marx
-----
"They make a desert and call it peace."
		-- Tacitus (55?-120?)
-----
  After they got rid of capital punishment, they had to hang twice
  as many people as before.
-----
There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.
		-- Anatole France
-----
+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+
                         "In the arithmatic of LOVE, one plus one equals
     MONICA AGGARWAL        __             everything, and two minus one 
  mgarg@cats.ucsc.edu     >(. )                          equals nothing"
University of California   |  (     /)
       Santa Cruz          |   \___/ )
                           (   ----- )  >@)_//   >@)_//  >@)_//  >@)_//
                            \_______/    (__)     (__)    (__)    (__)
                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+
-----
From 0 to "what seems to be the problem officer" in 8.3 seconds.
		-- Ad for the new VW Corrado
-----
Available while quantities last.
-----
The good time is approaching,
The season is at hand.
When the merry click of the two-base lick
Will be heard throughout the land.
The frost still lingers on the earth, and
Budless are the trees.
But the merry ring of the voice of spring
Is borne upon the breeze.
		-- Ode to Opening Day, "The Sporting News", 1886
-----
knghtbrd: there may be no spoon, but can you spot the vulnerability in
eye_render_shiny_object.c?
		-- rcw
-----
Johnson's First Law:
	When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the
	most inconvenient possible time.
-----
Only through hard work and perseverance can one truly suffer.
-----
BOFH excuse #69:

knot in cables caused data stream to become twisted and kinked
-----
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
-----
Eudaemonic research proceeded with the casual mania peculiar to this part of
the world.  Nude sunbathing on the back deck was combined with phone calls to
Advanced Kinetics in Costa Mesa, American Laser Systems in Goleta, Automation
Industries in Danbury, Connecticut, Arenberg Ultrasonics in Jamaica Plain,
Massachusetts, and Hewlett Packard in Sunnyvale, California, where Norman
Packard's cousin, David, presided as chairman of the board. The trick was to
make these calls at noon, in the hope that out-to-lunch executives would return
them at their own expense.  Eudaemonic Enterprises, for all they knew, might be
a fast-growing computer company branching out of the Silicon Valley.  Sniffing
the possibility of high-volume sales, these executives little suspected that
they were talking on the other end of the line to a naked physicist crazed
over roulette.
		-- Thomas Bass, "The Eudaemonic Pie"
-----
What good is a ticket to the good life, if you can't find the entrance?
-----
                      .-~~-.--.
                     :         )
               .~ ~ -.\       /.- ~~ .
               >       `.   .'       <
              (         .- -.         )
               `- -.-~  `- -'  ~-.- -'
                 (        :        )           _ _ .-:
                  ~--.    :    .--~        .-~  .-~  }
                      ~-.-^-.-~ \_      .~  .-~   .~
                               \ \'     \ '_ _ -~
                                `.`.    //
                       . - ~ ~-.__`.`-.//
                   .-~   . - ~  }~ ~ ~-.~-.
                 .' .-~      .-~       :/~-.~-./:
                /_~_ _ . - ~                 ~-.~-._
                                                 ~-.<	22-Mar-1993 19:56
-----
         _____
       .'/L|__`.
      / =[_]O|` \
      |"+_____":|
    __:='|____`-:__
   ||[] ||====| []||
   ||[] | |=| | []||
   |:||_|=|U| |_||:|
   |:|||]_=_ =[_||:| LS
   | |||] [_][]C|| |
   | ||-'"""""`-|| |
   /|\\_\_|_|_/_//|\
  |___|   /|\   |___|   R2 Astromech Droid
  `---'  |___|  `---'     - Front View -
         `---'
-----
You should never bet against anything in science at odds of more than
about 10^12 to 1.
		-- Ernest Rutherford
-----
Qual é o fim da picada? 

Quando o pernilongo vai embora. 
-----
                        !###
                        ! ###    -Michael C. Jeongco-
                        !  ###
                        !   ###
   *   _________________!____###________O_______
 /            O          \    ##!     ==||       \
 \O         /||--         \    #!       //        \
 ||\_        \\            \    !      _\\   O     \
 \\           LL            \   !          ==||     \
  LL                         \  !            //      \
    \                         \ !           _\\       \
     \_________________________\!______________________\
-----
Viva cada dia como se fosse o último, um dia você acerta.
                -- Millôr Fernandes
-----
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.  If this had been an
actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?
-----
A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who
demanded, "Was she not chaste?  Was she not fair?  Was she not fruitful?"
holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made.
Yet, added he, none of you can tell where it pinches me.
		-- Plutarch
-----
This  message was brought to  you by Linux, the free  unix.
Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.
Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules
win-nt from the people who invented edlin
apples  have  meant  trouble  since  eden
Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses
(By mwikholm@at8.abo.fi, MaDsen Wikholm)
-----
BOFH excuse #402:

Secretary sent chain letter to all 5000 employees.
-----
BOFH excuse #71:

The file system is full of it
-----
It turned out that the worm exploited three or four different holes in the
system.  From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine
some of the source code, we realized that we were dealing with someone very
sharp, probably not someone here on campus.
		-- Dr. Richard LeBlanc, associate professor of ICS, in
		   Georgia Tech's campus newspaper after the Internet worm.
-----
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
		-- Robert Frost
-----
Protect from light.
-----
"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone
 is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be
 created in the form of computer programs."
		-- Joseph Weizenbaum, _Computer Power and Human Reason_
-----