Lobster:
	Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are
squeamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only
proper method of preparing them.  Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your
guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're cooked.
The fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea
floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs.  Grasp the lobster
behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty eyestalks and say,
"Where were you on the night of the 21st?", then flourish a picture of a
scallop or a sole and shout, "Perhaps this will refresh that crude neural
apparatus you call a memory!"  The lobster will squirm noticeably.  It may
even take a swipe at you with one of its claws.  Incorrigible.  Pop it into
the pot.  Justice has been served, and shortly you and your friends will
be, too.
		-- Dave Barry, "Cooking: The Art of Using Appliances and
		   Utensils into Excuses and Apologies"
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Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!
-----
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by
blowing first.
-----
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-----
Lazy people never bother to actually read the manual. Instead they (like
kids) pick something with big, colorful buttons.

                -- Eugene Tyurin <gene@insti.physics.sunysb.edu>
-----
* The_Answer_MD throws spaghetti at everyone
* taniwha eats the spaghetti
* Coderjoe tosses around some meatballs
* Knghtbrd gets the cheese
* taniwha grabs a red
-----
  It's more than magnificent-it's mediocre. -Samuel Goldwyn
-----